I have wanted to write this entry for so long now. i have had numerous drafts saved and erased because I always felt like I couldn't find the right words to express what I am feeling. Writing this now and knowing that ate caren is still beside me, my heart fills up with hope and courage that we could still face more days together. I find comfort that I am seeing her sleep soundly and as I stay by her bedside for another night I realize how far we have taken this fight up to now when we were only given 1-3 days chance of response exactly last week.
I know that we've gone this far because ever since day 1, we never battled this alone. So many people are with us every step of the way -- and for that, I am and will be eternally grateful. Everyone has showered us with unconditional support, help, prayers and most importantly love. I don't know how else to say it, but I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart and in behalf of my family.
This blog was a shot in sharing our story and hoping that many can contribute the little that they have and together put up a big effort for ate. But now I realize that what we receive aren't little contributions, we are being given SO MUCH -- not little, but a lot! we are getting overwhelming support from everyone and this much presence in our lives makes these difficult times bearable and with your continuous help, what I wrote in this blog's profile becomes true: comfort and healing is just near indeed. Each person sending encourgement in the chatbox, every visitor we have here at the hospital, all the text messages I receive, all the prayers that were offered, every pledge and donation being given, every email sent to me, every chocolate, fruit, food, flower and balloon that we have in our room -- all of these are such big gestures that I am sure we will never, ever forget. I can only pray that someday, me and ate can thank you personally for all of of your selfless ways.
Ate menchie's surprise gifts, balloons and fruits
For all of ate's friends, my superfriends, friendskami and our relatives who are "literally" with us everyday taking care of ate and acting as our very own support group despite their busy schedules and their own families to take care of -- thank you for being with us and we want you to know that your being here makes ate's room feel more like home rather than a hospital. When you sleep overnight, wash ate's face towels, talk to her, hold her, comfort her when she is uneasy and treating her like your own sister or daughter, i feel like our family is getting bigger every time. i get to have more sisters, more brothers, more friends.
Ate's friends and their artistic abilities -- our hospital room with wall decor and with so much food!!!
To the department, our neighbors, my grade school friends, my students, everyone I met via this blog and to everyone to whom I sent this blog to, I know that all of you offered up a prayer for us, and even for just that, I am already thankful. But you didn't just stop there, with your visits, driving us to and from hospitals, endless favors, generous pledges, reposting of the blog in your status messages and your blogs, kind words and advices, doctor recommendations, for all the help you are unconditionally offering us, we thank you very very much. I am lucky to have met and worked with all of you. I am in the company of good people and that in itself is already a blessing.
At times when I get the chance to reflect on everything that is happening, my mind turns to the overflowing support that's coming to us. I feel like I have no right to give up when everyone is rooting for us. I even tell ate caren each of your efforts so that even at her unconscious state she is aware of the love we're receiving and maybe that can inspire her to get better. At times when I really just want to lay this battle down to rest, I think of everyone who believes in this as much as I do and I regain my momentum to continue. I believe that all of the things happening gives me an opportunity to learn something and one of the things God wants me to understand is that we have so many people behind us who loves us and cares for us. That there are still people who will not hesitate or think twice in extending whatever they have and whatever they can do just to be able to assist usthrough these. I will always thank the Good Lord for all of you. You are definitely Godsent. Our angels in human form.
** thank you to uncles and aunties, cousins, ate janice, kuya jarrid, ate jojie, rr, roan, kuya ron, atchie, kuya jon and others, neighbors, tita tess, ate ryll, ann, nas, hannah, timi, marlon, joseph, bing, derick, eli, ronchi, nat, tyrone, hans, iche, march, karren, tita amy, tito mar, mike, rhea, hanna, chubbs, jam, daniw, riza, philip, rina, ric, leng, sir cedric, ma'am susan, sir pros, sir rommel, sir mario (and sir mario's friend), ate mila, sir tristan, all the people at the department, my students, yenyen, marie, jase, dan, and everyone who contacted me, ate's friends, ann, tj, ate normie, boss butch, vic, all my former students who emailed and texted, for people who reached out even if they are overseas and we still haven't met, ate menchie, ate meliza, ma'am florence, lyn, ma'am joyce, ma'am becca, rhovic, ate netchi, all the people i met thru this blog, the families of my friends and all their other friends, sorry if I won't be able to mention everyone's name, but please know that we hold you near our hearts and you are also always in our prayers. from our family: dad, mom, ate che, kuya ferdie, ate caren, ben, me and von, mico and lee, thank you.
