But I will remember her, and celebrate the life she shared with me. For which I will always be thankful. But then again, there's nothing new here, because I remember her every single day. I don't mean to make this blog entry sound sad. I think of her but not in a movie-hysterical-all-alone kind of sad. I have all of these huge chunks of memories that would last me a lifetime -- memories that rise up on the most unexpected occasions without me even trying: in the car, while eating, while watching movies, while going out...they come out of simple things that I know would make her laugh or annoyed, small stuff that I know exactly how she would react to, funny situations I know only she would understand and many more. I can still clearly remember her smiles and her laugh, the sweet way she talks because of her (super) gentle voice and everything there is to remember about her. A lot of times it's still so hard to believe she's gone because I have all these with me -- our experiences, our adventures, our hands clenched together, our sleeping beside each other, our secrets, our inside jokes, our laughter and our tears, even the clothes we shared -- everything is still with me. I always thought that when she died, a part of me died with her. But even though that may be true, I know that the other way around is also true, a part of her will always, always live in and through me.
I miss her, and I would have given everything to have her with me, with us... but there are also so many things that I am seeing and beginning to understand. Bottom line is I have a gift who is a beautiful sister who has always been an angel from since we were together and especially now.
Happy Birthday ate :) i love you.
